Most of us have heard of the 5 love languages as they are applied to humans but did you know they can also be used to understand your pet? The 5 love languages have been around for nearly 20 years and consist of words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, receiving gifts and acts of service. Some people propose that the love languages apply to all creatures and some people scoff at the mere idea of animals having personalities. No matter where you fall on the scale, taking a hard look at the messages your pet sends you can only lead to a more enriching life for both of you.
Words of Affirmation
Does your pet respond well to praise for doing a trick? Think back to your initial training sessions. If they were fast to make the transition from food based praise to verbal praise then this may be the love language for them. Remember to praise their good behavior with a single word that is only used for reinforcing a job well done. My trainer was fond of saying the thing he notices most in the average owner is that they put more emphasis on reprimanding bad behavior and often forget to congratulate the good behavior.
Physical Touch
If your pet’s love language is physical touch then chances are you know it already. These are the dogs that nuzzle your hand incessantly or the cats that climb into your lap at every opportunity. While some people may find this smothering or cumbersome it is important to indulge your pet on a regular basis. Try setting a routine or choose a cue that will let them know snuggles are imminent. However, it is also important to set boundaries and to be consistent with them. If your dog barks for attention and that is undesirable to you then do not pet her sometimes and yell at her others. Be consistent with how you deter that behavior and she will find another more positive way to ask for attention.
Quality Time
For those pet’s whose love language is quality time it may be enough for them to simply be around you. These animals are the ones that make great office pets but barring that try to find an activity they love and engage with them often. This could be a play session, a long hike or learning new tricks. The key is to engage fully in the activity. Animals, especially dogs, are keen observers of human faces and they can tell if your attention is not on them. If you have ever met a dog who cries when their owner picks up the iphone then you know what I am talking about.
Receiving Gifts
While most animals like getting treats, those whose love language is receiving gifts take it to a whole new level. These pets will try to show their love by giving you gifts in the form of a half chewed bone or a dead mouse on the doorstep. While often undesired, their gifts should not be discounted as just “something animals do”. Your pet is trying to tell you how they prefer to be loved. Try enriching their day with new novelties. Swing by the thrift store for discarded childrens toys on the cheap. Just make sure none of the stuffed animals have beans or small plastic pieces that could be a choking hazard.
Acts of Service
Those animals who thrive on acts of service will of course be the ones that make the best therapy animals, service dogs and emotional support animals. However, just because your pet is a “working breed” does not mean this is always their love language. Think instead of a pet who does not normally cuddle but always comes to comfort you when you cry. This could also be the pet that always seems underfoot for no reason like sitting in your dirt pile when you try to sweep the floor. These pets are often very obedient without much prompting and are always aiming to make you proud. Try giving them a job around the house. One suggestion is to train your dog to open the cabinets for you while you work in the kitchen. After doing so owners often report that their dog gets upset if the owner dares to open a cabinet without the pet’s help!
Spend some time thinking of your pet’s love language and play to that strength. Every animal needs to have their days enriched but this can be difficult for those of us who work all day and come home to a pet full of energy. Make it easier on yourself by giving meaningful attention to your pet so as to make the greatest impact on their day to day life. Time with your pet is proven to decrease stress in both the owner and the pet so figure out your pet’s love language and pick an activity therein that you both enjoy.